RSE version of new Erebus song -- feedback please!

[Godgrave]

[Godgrave]

Heh, sorry...wasn't trying to sound upset or anything, I just wanted to let you know why there wasn't a time marker on the song.

Thanks for the feedback on the song! I can see some of the advantages of ending before the second heavy/chuggy section. It would make for a pretty pronounced "stop!" without going back through parts already heard.

The main reasons I went on a little longer were 1) the song would be pretty short without anything more and 2) I wanted to bring back that super heaviness for another go around. We really haven't used that element much in Erebus and I wanted to highlight it in this song. I tried to create a variation on the part heard earlier (it's slightly different) and did the same with the ending section. Each time that main driving riff is heard (3 times total - the first of which right after the intro), I added a little more intensity (by the end it has sort of a triplet "burst" feel to it). The idea I had was to make it more intense each time right up until the end.

Were there any other reasons why you felt it should end where you said? Did you feel it was too repetitious or you got bored by the end or something else?

Alright, so I've been playing the track a few times now ... have to admit, the track will sound completely different than this 8ish bit version. Having said that, I don't know if you picked or anyone else did, but your big riff breakdown is straight off Pantera's Shedding Skin, if it's going to sound like that, well sort of. This makes me think, why don't you scrap the breakdown at the beginning and just leave it for the end. I thought about it, and it sounds pretty cool that way, has the effect to be a crowd pleaser if it helps? And you should end it with the breakdown without doing those riffs all over again. Do something different than the rest. Listen to Katatonia's Omerta. It rips your heart out because of the way the song ends. Just mean to give you an example, not telling you to cut the song haphazardly! In the end, it's your band, your song, your vision, so go with what you feel. Screw the populous.

[Fritz]

I think Godgrave should critique my efforts. I'll get so pissed off that I might actually come up with something worth listening to more than once!

[Cholernik]

not me, i'd keep putting out the same garbage to piss him off

[JimminySnakeTits]

Alright, so I've been playing the track a few times now ... have to admit, the track will sound completely different than this 8ish bit version. Having said that, I don't know if you picked or anyone else did, but your big riff breakdown is straight off Pantera's Shedding Skin, if it's going to sound like that, well sort of. This makes me think, why don't you scrap the breakdown at the beginning and just leave it for the end. I thought about it, and it sounds pretty cool that way, has the effect to be a crowd pleaser if it helps? And you should end it with the breakdown without doing those riffs all over again. Do something different than the rest. Listen to Katatonia's Omerta. It rips your heart out because of the way the song ends. Just mean to give you an example, not telling you to cut the song haphazardly! In the end, it's your band, your song, your vision, so go with what you feel. Screw the populous.

Holy shit! You're right...the second time through is VERY close to Shedding Skin...I can hear it now. I'll probably leave it, but I didn't even think about that. The way I came up with it was by just taking the original part and adding a little spice to it + some different notes. Maybe I'll tweak it a little so it's still powerful and heavy but maybe not exactly Dime playing from beyond the grave.

I thought about having a different ending, but I was in the end unable to come up with anything I liked. I might play around with it some more, but I think the song might end up being final because we're in the process of learning it. Usually when I ask for feedback, I'm looking to learn things about the song that I can apply to my next song(s). I try to take feedback to heart very much, and it's definitely made me better. Some of your feedback (Godgrave) from a song I wrote a couple of years ago was used heavily in the tech death-inspired song I did

[Phil]

Hey Gage: I think this song sounds fucking cool. The breakdown could probably be dropped like Godgrave said, instead of throwing it in, you could just drop it out and go into the riff right after it.

That said: I like the song as it is now. I think the riffing sounds cool and since I'm not a Pantera fan I didn't notice the similarity.

In order to really critique it beyond that I'd have to listen to a more full version of it, but from the 8-bit version I think it has a ton of potential and it doesn't sound derivative despite being in "the egyptian mode!". Clean vocals could sound really cool over the melodic parts. And I love the end. Looking forward to hearing more!

[Godgrave]

I think Godgrave should critique my efforts. I'll get so pissed off that I might actually come up with something worth listening to more than once!

you're too kind. Link me and such, and I'll check it out for you.

not me, i'd keep putting out the same garbage to piss him off

[Godgrave]

Alright, so I've been playing the track a few times now ... have to admit, the track will sound completely different than this 8ish bit version. Having said that, I don't know if you picked or anyone else did, but your big riff breakdown is straight off Pantera's Shedding Skin, if it's going to sound like that, well sort of. This makes me think, why don't you scrap the breakdown at the beginning and just leave it for the end. I thought about it, and it sounds pretty cool that way, has the effect to be a crowd pleaser if it helps? And you should end it with the breakdown without doing those riffs all over again. Do something different than the rest. Listen to Katatonia's Omerta. It rips your heart out because of the way the song ends. Just mean to give you an example, not telling you to cut the song haphazardly! In the end, it's your band, your song, your vision, so go with what you feel. Screw the populous.

Holy shit! You're right...the second time through is VERY close to Shedding Skin...I can hear it now. I'll probably leave it, but I didn't even think about that. The way I came up with it was by just taking the original part and adding a little spice to it + some different notes. Maybe I'll tweak it a little so it's still powerful and heavy but maybe not exactly Dime playing from beyond the grave.

I thought about having a different ending, but I was in the end unable to come up with anything I liked. I might play around with it some more, but I think the song might end up being final because we're in the process of learning it. Usually when I ask for feedback, I'm looking to learn things about the song that I can apply to my next song(s). I try to take feedback to heart very much, and it's definitely made me better. Some of your feedback (Godgrave) from a song I wrote a couple of years ago was used heavily in the tech death-inspired song I did

That's cool to know, and I'm glad I could help in whatever little way : ). I put on my headphones last night, and as I was listening to it the first time (again), I knew it was familiar, when the riff broke out towards the 4th quarter of the song, it hit me. Leave it if you like, it'll sound different I think when you play it with real instruments. Good luck!

[iwieldthehammer]

i dont think there's a breakdown in this song, at least as far as i understand breakdowns. no chugga chigga wugga that is.
i think the ending is great the way it is, its one of the strong parts of the song, why not end with it?

[Phil]

I'd say there's two breakdowns, actually. One is a more techy breakdown, second riff. Second one is a "half time mosh part" towards the end.

[bubba_l_s]

after listening to it again, my more detailed opinion: the groove it has is friggin awesome. i especially dig the bass line toward the beginning. i cant wait to hear it live

[Fritz]

I don't... uh... what's a breakdown? Is that like... when Hammershit goes elbow first into the kick drum, simultaneously tripping the vocalist who then falls into the guitar player who then dominoes into his rig?